Every Mother dreams of her daughter having a fairytale wedding. It is a beautiful moment for both of you, and as a mother, you would want to try your best, so your daughter has the time of her life. While many things may not be in your control, there are some things that you can do to be the perfect Mother of the bride.
If you want to make a difference and ensure that everything goes smoothly, here are some things you can do to make a difference.
Be careful about what you do so you don't become a hurdle rather than a facilitator.
Give Your Opinions When You Are Asked For Them
The Mother of the bride needs to realize that it is her daughter's wedding. It does not matter how close you and your daughter are; at the end of the day, she is the bride and must make all the wedding decisions independently. Many mothers and daughters do not have healthy boundaries, which can affect their relationship during and after the wedding planning.
The first thing you must do as a bride's Mother is taking the initiative. It is best to have everything out in the open rather than pushing each other's boundaries. It’s always safer to ask the bride whether she wants your help with the wedding planning and what kind of help she expects from you.
If your daughter tells you that she does not need your help, then you must respect her decision and avoid giving unsolicited advice. If you are asked to give your opinion, then you can step up to your role as the bride's Mother.
Be Considerate Of Their Budget
When the bride asks you for suggestions, it is very important that you are considerate of their budget. While you may want the best for your daughter, she might need more money to get the decorations or food according to your preference.
If you are going to contribute to the wedding, it is a good idea to determine what parts of the wedding you want to finance. This will help the bride and groom have a clear idea of their collective budget. This way, they will map out their expenses accordingly. it is best to avoid asking for items that are far more than their price range or if you want to include the items then do your research to look for a place that can offer a more pocket-friendly price for the same thing. Doing this will help take off a lot of burden from the soon-to-be-married couple. They will be sure to appreciate all the help you offer them.
Do Not Use Money As Leverage
If you think that paying for the wedding gives you the right to make the decisions on your own, then you are wrong. You may be financing a major part of the wedding, but that does not mean that it is your wedding.
If you are offering financial assistance, it still does not give you the right to behave like an investor and make decisions on account of the couple. You need to tread lightly when it comes to giving money. It’s better to offer the money before the bride starts planning and tell her the exact amount you will give. Once you give the money, do not use it as leverage to make things go your way.
Maintain A Friendly Relationship With The Mother Of The Groom
You definitely want your daughter to be happy and one way to ensure her happiness is to avoid any arguments or awkward relationship with the mother of the groom. As the Mother of the bride, you have the responsibility of ensuring that things go as smoothly as possible.
This is why you need to break the ice and connect with the Mother of the groom. Both of you are in the same position and your children are promising themselves to each other. Therefore, you need to have a good relationship between the two of you. Keep the Mother of the groom in the loop, so she is well aware of the decisions you make. Especially when you want to choose your mother of the bride dress.
Doing this will help you get closer and you can share a friendly relationship.
Do Not Complain
Several things may not go the way you want them to. In this case, there are two things you can do. You can either complain about whatever is happening or keep the complaints to yourself and let the bride enjoy her day.
Weddings already have a lot of drama, and the bride will be preoccupied with her own problems and pre-wedding nervousness. You do not need to add to that, so if you think that there is something that you want to complain about, wait until after the wedding. Complaining the entire ceremony will strain your relationship forever.
Avoid Inviting Guests On Your Own
Understandably, your daughter is getting married, and you are very excited about the wedding, but that does not mean you can invite whoever you want. It is the sole decision of the bride and the groom to determine who comes to their wedding and who does not.
For instance, you may want to invite several relatives, but the couple need to know who you are planning to invite to their wedding. Moreover, budget is a major reason why the couple needs to manage invited guests, so they can stay on budget. It is best to leave the decision to the couple. However, you can still give your suggestions to the bride without imposing anything.
Don't Make The Wedding Day About Yourself
For many mothers, their daughter's wedding is an occasion where they can fulfil dreams they weren't able to fulfil on their own. This can become problematic for the bride as she may need to see eye to eye with you on different things, which will give rise to conflicts.
Throughout the wedding planning, you need to remind yourself that it is not your wedding and you are not the deciding authority here. You may give valuable advice about things you learned from your wedding so your daughter does not go through the same things.
Mothers often compare their children to others, which can have detrimental effects on their children's personalities. They will spend all their lives thinking that they are not good enough and that their Mother liked someone over them.
Similarly, do not make the mistake of comparing your daughter's wedding to others. Even if you are super impressed by someone else's wedding, there is no need to rain on your daughter's parade with constant comparison. This is not a competition. Make sure your daughter does the things she likes best, so she is happy on the day of her wedding.
Do Not Impose Plans
Once all the wedding planning is complete, the details are set in stone. Do not make the mistake of changing anything at the last moment. This will mean that you are looking for ways to create trouble and disrupt the wedding plans.
If you think some plans need changing, then the best way to address that is to sit down with the couple. Explain your side to them and whatever you suggest. The rest is up to them, and if they feel they need to make a change, they will do it on their own.
DON'T WEAR WHITE
The biggest mistake a mother of the bride or, in fact, the Mother of the groom can make is to wear white. The colour white is limited to the bride, and it is against wedding etiquette for anyone to wear white, especially the bride's Mother.
There are many colour options you can go for, such as pastels, bright colours and more. Frankly, the options are limitless, and you have no reason to wear white.
Besides the colour, you need to be very particular about what dress you want to wear. As the Mother, the bride may have many tasks for you and would want you on your feet throughout the ceremony. Therefore, look for a mother-of-the-bride dress that is comfortable and fashionable. While the attention should stay on the bride, you need to look like the Mother of the bride. The same goes for the Mother of the groom; look for a Mother of the groom dress that is functional and stylish at the same time.
If you are the Mother of the bride, you may have a lot of responsibility on your shoulders, and you must live up to the expectations of your daughter by following the tips mentioned above.
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